Going into the new year I knew I wasn’t going to make resolutions. I never do. Mostly because I don’t like to do mainstream things. I like to rebel against the norm. Try to be different and all that jazz. Mostly I don’t give a shit.
But I kept seeing things for “find your word of the year” and “focus on your word” and I thought that was a nice idea but how do you find a word that means enough to you that will help you change?
Since November I’ve been focusing on consistency in my life and have gotten back into the gym. I find sanity in the solitude of working out, surrounded by strangers, but in my own little world of music and sweat. Confession, I am the whitest of white girls but I love gangsta rap. The shittiest gangsta rap. It makes me feel badass and hardcore. I walk out the gym feeling like a baller. Hustle, Hustle, Hustle. HARD.
Anyway, back to what I was saying. I’m trying to be the healthiest version of me, mentally and physically. I’ve also started doing yoga at home. I found the most awesomest yoga instructor on Youtube. She gets me. I feel like we’d be good friends. She says things like “That’s what she said” and then giggles because it’s so not a “zen” thing to say. Anyway, my new BFF, Adriene, during a yoga video said something like, “Find your intention for today’s practice. Why are you here on the mat? Even if it’s just one word.”
The word “respect” immediately came to me. That’s why I’m here, that’s why I’m STILL here, that’s why I’m working on my health. Because I respect myself. From there I thought about that word a lot for a few days. It’s a common word, but a word we usually reserve for everyone else but ourself. We are taught to respect elders, those in authority, our peers, etc. But do we respect ourselves? Have we learned that?
I don’t need resolutions because the more I learn to respect myself, the kinder I’ll be to myself. The less crap I’ll put in my body. The less shit I’ll take from others. Respect is the foundation for everything else. Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love.
I don’t need to make anyone respect me. It’s not something that I have to earn, or that others have to earn. I only need to focus on what that word means to me, how I’m going to put it into action, and how it will change me from the inside out.
Everything else will fall into place around that.